20 years ago I was 15 but happy to be unsure of my future
20 Years ago I was 15 years old. It is a long time to look back and count so many steps I have come across. I was in 10th grade and happy to be unsure of my future. My peers had clear, if not big, plans about shaping their lives. And here, I was busy being indecisive. I had no particular reason to do a particular thing or take a decision. I seldom thought about my own choices and interests. As the world said I am good at, I accepted and moved in that direction. Today, I am happy to be clear about my path and thankful that I didn’t choose a career at that time else I would have to change it later for my passion.
Strange school life
At the age of 15, I was in 10th standard. I hated to go to school. I never liked to be away from my mother for so many hours a day and thought school administration was cruel. This particular emotion continued until this time. I had a different set of friends in different classes but none of them were friends for life. Not to talk about studies as I was an average student but dipped as I felt alone sometimes. My mother was the sole motivator at that time. She, then, had a very busy life with a full-time job and a home to take care of. But she managed it all like I am doing it today in different circumstances. And I am happy today to be confident even when alone. I respect the times I have gone through that made me realise the importance of being confident; A character trait you have to develop and are not born with.
My first tutor
I took tuition for the first time at the age of 15 for Maths subject. This phase of life brought a different light to my life. A relationship that started off as a strict teacher and a scared student gradually changed to a father-daughter like relationship. He taught me that humans are known for their qualities in life more than their scores in subjects. He instilled in me the confidence of sharing knowledge with others as he knew that I am capable of mentoring somebody else. I am happy to realise this part of my personality even today.
Living life with grandparents
My maternal grandmother used to live with me. She had been around me till the age of 18. She was young and beautiful when I first saw her. I had never seen her much younger than that but deteriorating during her last days. There was no question of like or dislike of our relationship but was that of needful to each other. Many secretive and funny incidents are in my heart only remembering her. She was the first teacher to me teaching about bad touch and good touch at the time when schools were not bold enough to introduce the concept openly. The Tamil language echoed in the air when we used to converse naturally but now I need a plan to practice so that I don’t forget it. I am happy to have fond memories with her that will be cherished life long.
Music to the ears
The songs had a different melody 20 years ago. They had built a strange story around and resides in my sub-conscious even today. When I listen to them today, I don’t need to watch their videos. My mind plays the time I was in 20 years ago. The scene and all the emotions are live once again in front of my eyes. I wonder what all I wanted to be at the age of 15. I wanted to live so many different lives without any purpose. Today, I am happy to continue this particular life and that I reached here.
20 years ago, life was unpredictable, it is even today and will be always. What I have achieved is perseverance to see my changed surroundings and be thankful for all that I have.
I received this tag from Tulika. It’s my pleasure to pass on this tag to Sunita. There are 29 of us on this Blog Hop and it will be spread over 3 days – 1st, 2nd and 3rd November 2019. Do follow the #WordsMatter Blog Hop and prepare to be surprised!
So good to know more about you, Geethica. You mother and grandmother must be proud of you. Thanks for joining us on #WordsMatter.
Thanks a lot, Parul.
Oh wow, I feel I came to know so much more about you! 🙂 Hats off to the wonderful women in your life.
Aww… I am glad you liked it. Thanks Shalini
20 years ago is the time when some real awful sh*t happened in my life. It changed the entire course of my life, changed me too, and not in a good way, I would say. Not just me in fact, but my entire family. If I could go back in time and change one event, that would be it.
I can understand this. There are many instances, small and big, that I would never want to happen if given a chance to live again. Well that’s life. Maybe because of all that we are wise today. Thanks a lot
Loved your writeup and mostly getting to know your grandma through it.
Haha… Thanks Damyanti. I am glad you liked reading it.
Such a pleasant time right, Geet? I liked how soft this post is. I could relate to the school part, though I enjoyed every bit in school even though I was an average student. Never worried about what others think of me because of my marks or so, because personally I never thought much. 😬 Time with Grandparents is still the best. The times then is very different from the times now. I wish I am more calm and take things easy these days like back then. I was just 12 back then. I’m trying to recollect memories.. This entire group has brought out good memories from the past.
Ah… Every phase has lovely memories. Would love to read your memories too. Thank you for your lovely comment
The exposure you got from your family seems to be incredible. I faced a lot of set backs when it came to support from family and lacked their support in the initial stages. I feel happy for you to have got all that, when you needed the most! Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you Keerthi. Yes, I agree that family support is very important.
Many good memories! Might have been a wonderful time spent with your grandma.
Yes, it was. Thanks Ramya
Ditto about the music. I still remember the lyrics of all those old songs I used to listen to on tape recorders and walkmans back them! Now , I listen to them on my phone and all those memories come drifting back!
Actually. Thanks Jyothi
I think, most of us in our teens were carefree and happy-go-lucky kids but yes, there were those who had clear goals and objectives even back then. But despite being clueless, we did turn out right! I like that you have had some strong and wonderful inspiring people in your early life and that has shaped the person you are today! Great going, Geethica!
Thanks Shilpa
I am amazed at children who know what they’re going to do in life at 15. Like you, I was pretty clueless back then. It was only much much later that I figured it all out. Maybe that’s one reason we were happy and carefree.
I have to agree that living with grandparents is wonderful I had my paternal grandparents and they pampered me silly while my parents could be as strict as they wanted to. That’s the best combination to have as a growing up youngster.
You make a good point; I won’t say that I ever felt as though I were drifting – but I did not feel a strong sense of PURPOSE in life, either, at 15. There were specific goals that, as they came up, I felt driven to accomplish. I never had a “five year plan” and probably switched majors 3-4 times in college – I didn’t bother, even, to declare one until my Junior year! I had so many interests and the one I thought I was most passionate about then is far from anything I’ve done professionally since then. Life hands you opportunities and choices, and I have not regretted reaching out for one over another, ever, probably for the same reason you mentioned. Had I chosen a path too early, it might well have been the wrong one. I held out, waited to see what life might offer up, and I think that allowed me MORE choices. (Had I pursued what I thought was my “passion” at 16 – and I did have the opportunity to do so – I would not have met and married the man I’ve had as my life partner and father of our two children these past 35 years. And believe me, he and they have been a much greater passion for me – a much more fulfilling life’s journey – than geology and volcanoes would have been.)
Absolutely. I feel time plays an important role in your life. Your path clears and you take all the right actions. Thanks Holly.
It’s like cooking; helps to let things simmer, see how they go together.
So true.
Your mother and grandmother seem like strong women, ahead of their times. The genes are evident in you. I’m so curious about the Tamil connection. I would never have guessed!
Haha thanks Corinne. My mother is a Tamilian married to Khatri man.
Very interesting. Thank you for sharing.