20 years ago I was 15 but happy to be unsure of my future
20 Years ago I was 15 years old. It is a long time to look back and count so many steps I have come across. I was in 10th grade and happy to be unsure of my future. My peers had clear, if not big, plans about shaping their lives. And here, I was busy being indecisive. I had no particular reason to do a particular thing or take a decision. I seldom thought about my own choices and interests. As the world said I am good at, I accepted and moved in that direction. Today, I am happy to be clear about my path and thankful that I didn’t choose a career at that time else I would have to change it later for my passion.
Strange school life
At the age of 15, I was in 10th standard. I hated to go to school. I never liked to be away from my mother for so many hours a day and thought school administration was cruel. This particular emotion continued until this time. I had a different set of friends in different classes but none of them were friends for life. Not to talk about studies as I was an average student but dipped as I felt alone sometimes. My mother was the sole motivator at that time. She, then, had a very busy life with a full-time job and a home to take care of. But she managed it all like I am doing it today in different circumstances. And I am happy today to be confident even when alone. I respect the times I have gone through that made me realise the importance of being confident; A character trait you have to develop and are not born with.
My first tutor
I took tuition for the first time at the age of 15 for Maths subject. This phase of life brought a different light to my life. A relationship that started off as a strict teacher and a scared student gradually changed to a father-daughter like relationship. He taught me that humans are known for their qualities in life more than their scores in subjects. He instilled in me the confidence of sharing knowledge with others as he knew that I am capable of mentoring somebody else. I am happy to realise this part of my personality even today.
Living life with grandparents
My maternal grandmother used to live with me. She had been around me till the age of 18. She was young and beautiful when I first saw her. I had never seen her much younger than that but deteriorating during her last days. There was no question of like or dislike of our relationship but was that of needful to each other. Many secretive and funny incidents are in my heart only remembering her. She was the first teacher to me teaching about bad touch and good touch at the time when schools were not bold enough to introduce the concept openly. The Tamil language echoed in the air when we used to converse naturally but now I need a plan to practice so that I don’t forget it. I am happy to have fond memories with her that will be cherished life long.
Music to the ears
The songs had a different melody 20 years ago. They had built a strange story around and resides in my sub-conscious even today. When I listen to them today, I don’t need to watch their videos. My mind plays the time I was in 20 years ago. The scene and all the emotions are live once again in front of my eyes. I wonder what all I wanted to be at the age of 15. I wanted to live so many different lives without any purpose. Today, I am happy to continue this particular life and that I reached here.
20 years ago, life was unpredictable, it is even today and will be always. What I have achieved is perseverance to see my changed surroundings and be thankful for all that I have.
I received this tag from Tulika. It’s my pleasure to pass on this tag to Sunita. There are 29 of us on this Blog Hop and it will be spread over 3 days – 1st, 2nd and 3rd November 2019. Do follow the #WordsMatter Blog Hop and prepare to be surprised!