How to make your preteen listen to you

Every parent and child relationship is different. In fact, a mother has a different comfort level with her each child. And this makes parenting even harder. But a mother manages it all so well. Truly said, once a parent will always be a parent. As a mother, I face a lot of mood swings of my preteen daughter. Sometimes, I am tired of her tantrums and the other times she has to face my angry personality. This is our sweet and sour mother and daughter relationship. But it is not easy to make your preteen listen to you. So how do you come to a mid-point? Let’s see what works for me?

Make your preteen listen to you

• Listen to their misconceptions – At the age of 10, children face many changes in their life both physically and mentally. It is utmost important to listen to them patiently. They want to discuss many issues bothering them. Tell them that their discussions are also important for you and their views matter to you. Let them speak their perception first and advice them in the end.
• Never say “just a minute” or “let me finish first” when they come to you – Often we tend to say such phrases to our children without realising the effect of it. This gives them the signal that they are secondary to us in front of gadgets. And this is not the truth.
• Be calm; don’t react instantly – When we instantly tell ‘no’, they behave in a negative way. At this point, their mind is blocked. You have to leave the conversation and wisely show them the difference when they are ready to listen. 

The stomach is the way to the heart

• Make their favourite dish – This works on all. When some good food goes in, positive vibes come out. This is the perfect time to start the conversation from where you left. Explain your perspective of the same situation to them.
• Fulfil one small demand – Buy them one small thing from their wish list. It is important to teach them that every family has different priorities and spending power. They are big enough to understand the whole scenario. Make them realise that dreams should be fulfiled one by one so that we enjoy. If all are fulfiled at once, their importance may be comprised.
• Know the company of your child – At this age, your child is influenced more by their friends. Every company is good until your principles contradict. Never be ashamed of reminding them what you follow. This is the time they will absorb whatever they see and hear.

Time is the best healer 

When you like something, you don’t calculate its positive and negative aspects, you just want it. We adults often do it then how can we expect children to be different? Sometimes you have to be quiet and watch carefully to hinder when required. Because every time we can’t lecture them. They start ignoring us. Time is the best healer.

These are my personal experience with my 10 years old daughter. Many times, this works and sometimes I fail as a mother. There are many dark shades in my motherhood journey with one sunshine. That is my faith in God. When nothing works, I realise that it’s not me but He who takes care of everything. And I smile and feel relaxed.

How do you manage such situations?