Tips to achieve relationship goals by Uttpal Krushna (UK)
Today, there is something different on my blog. No…no it is the same series running on my blog because there are still so many views on the same topic. Every individual has a different perspective to the same situation. Taking ahead this idea, let’s welcome a husband who’s also a father and ask him what’s his secret of a successful relationship?
Introduce yourself in a few lines. What is your relationship status?
My name is Uttpal Krushna. I am a Lifestyle and Food blogger at https://fashionablefoodz.com. After quitting the corporate life in 2007, I took up content writing proofreading and editing for a good number of years and still do so. I started an active blog writing in 2011-2012. I am married for the last 18 years to my then girlfriend.
Do you have kids?
I am blessed with a 17-year-old son. Of course
There’s always a change in the definition of love at every stage of life. What change did you feel after your kid/kids was/were born?
Love was more of the Bollywood types for me and wife during our courtship and till our son was born. Post his birth the love equation changed a bit with 60% of our time being dedicated to bringing up the child. Of course, the romance has remained the same and has increased over the years, but now there is some quotient of maturity in the love and way of expressing it.
Do you live in a joint family? If yes, do they help in building a
strong relationship between the two of you? If no, do you miss their presence?
We live as a Nuclear family. The reason we can’t be in a Joint family of humans is that we are in a Joint family of animals where we have had a mouse being loved by a cat and the dogs of the house not fighting with the cats of the house. The harmony and love we find in this joint family of animals have not made us miss the joint family of humans ever.
Kids make their parent’s bond stronger. But at times, parents argue because of them only because their teachings differ. What is your safe mantra in such a situation? Explain with an example if possible.
Parents may have a difference of opinion on raising the child and his/her upbringing. When my wife was pregnant, we had planned, argued, discussed and planned a life for our child. So once he was born, we had 100% clarity on how to raise him. We have given him complete freedom which our generation never got. At the same time when we have to stop him from doing something which we feel would be wrong, we support each other in stopping him from doing it. We did reprimand him as a child without any difference of opinion and that has helped us raise him as a stronger and focussed human being. My safe mantra to one and all would be simple: allow only one parent to speak if the teachings differ majorly and the other should keep quiet in the interest of better development of the child.
Respect for your partner is the most important aspect of a successful relationship. Still, at some point in an argument, your ego comes in between and things become worse. How do you tackle such a situation and make your life peaceful once again?
This depends on the equation you share with your partner. It cannot be love, love, and love all the time. So healthy fights are encouraged in a relationship. We forcibly do that at times to keep up the spice of the relationship. These could be as silly as pillow fights or heated arguments. Whatever they are, the next day one of the partners has to make Tea/coffee for the other and serve the morning breakfast. This role has to be interchanged between the two every fight. However, if any argument gets ugly, the best way to tackle would be to back off immediately so that the situation is diffused. Fortunately, in the last 18 years
Everyone loves surprises. There’s always an excitement involved. But when you are together for over a decade, you know him/her inside out. How do you still manage to surprise your partner?
Yes, this is a common problem many
From your experience of married life with kids, please share some motivating tips to make your relationship successful? What is your ultimate goal in a relationship?
From day one, and I repeat from Day one, please tell yourself that the two of you are the only ones who will stay with each other till the end of life. Say this daily to yourself and your partner if need be. That makes you strong to accept the fact that your child is a third entity. Allow your child the freedom to grow out and branch out. Don’t rule him/her don’t control him/her. Keep surprising each other with those wild things every couple has done at some point in time just after marriage. That helps rekindle the romance in a relationship. Buy gifts, they need not be expensive at all. They add to the admiration of your partner. Keep your secrets. Let your partner want you and vice versa even after 50 years of marriage.
Thank you very much UK. That were some really practical tips to rekindle that spark between the couples. Somehow I feel that things are easily sorted out from a men’s perspective. Don’t you feel the same, friends?
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