This Independence Day I want to talk about all the mothers of this nation. I want to give freedom to all those who are being constantly judged on their way of motherhood.

Are you being judged?

There are plenty of issues where mothers are being judged on daily basis. On every thing they do, comments and advice are being passed on. Learning from is good but listening to comments on your every move is highly irritating. There are numerous of them I have been gone through and even today go through. I am being judged because

  • I don’t have a maid for my children and I personally take care of them. Yes, I am not ashamed that I am raising my kids all by myself. And this is possible because I live in joint family. Although, in joint families also, they have maids around my locality because the elders are not very much interested in taking up the whole responsibility.
  • I don’t take my kids to extra curricular activities. Yes, my kids are not less intelligent if they are just going to school and coming back. We enjoy the afternoon nap we all take together and spend the time together in the evening. We three, me and my two kids, enjoy the time by catching up on classwork and homework if any. And of course, they watch cartoons too with limited screen time. 
  • I don’t go to kitties. Yes, I don’t like to meet the ladies whom I don’t get along well. Just because going to kitty parties every month would make me a socialite, I can’t bear those bitchy talks where I am not concerned. I am a homely person who loves to spend time with her laptop and family and I love the way I am.
  • I didn’t make them wear diapers at night. When my kids were small, I made them wear cotton nappies at night for their comfort. Yes, I had to get up so many times but I knew it was worth it. My kids were toilet trained early and I got the benefits of my sacrifices.
  • I don’t make a routine for their sleeping patterns. When they are being driven like machines all weekdays for school, they need to be humans on holidays. Yes, I don’t tell them when to sleep and when to get up and let them enjoy their weekends. Above all, it is a de stress time for me too as I am the one waking up with them and sleeping with them.

The judgements have not stopped but my answerability has definitely stopped in the past 9 years of my motherhood.

Linking this post with Amrita and Deepa for #MMM

 

36 thoughts on “Being judged-Not anymore”

  1. I like this one for sure… we can be doing things what others feel. We need to do things what gives us happiness and what we feel. Thumbs up

     
  2. True, Geethica. Our society has a hundred things to say about the way we live and the way we bring up our kids and anything and everything we may do. I wonder why they don’t mind their own business and look at the way they live their lives!
    It’s in our best interests to just turn a deaf ear to all that people have to say and live life the way we feel is beneficial to us and our family. And, in doing so, find the peace and happiness we so deserve.

     
  3. Nice post and agree with you that most of the time woman targets other woman and make useless and senseless judgements on motherhood or other’s working style etc. I also dnt like to go to kitties parties to make fun of me. I am happy with my parenting style and also never judged others.

     
  4. Hi5 on the kitty party point. Even I don’t like back biting. I went for a kitty party for 2 months and then dejected myself as I realised I cannot be a part of this. Judging comes so easy to a lady from another.

     
  5. Moms get judged for everything they do. I get irritated when people pitches in with their comments on how not good of a mommy I am. Sometimes I ignore, sometimes I give proper answer. You know, I’m staying in the US and we have no help of any sort, family or maid. My husband and I took care of both the pregnancies and the babies post delivery all by ourselves. So I face lot of judgement all the time because who can take care of their children without help? 😀

     
  6. Mommies are always judged no matter what we do..good or bad so better to do what we feel right for our child. In the end we are the one who have to handle them.

    Nice read!!

     
  7. Loved reading this Geet! Some of the things you mentioned are actually things I am judged on as well – i get to socialize less because of no kitties, i get to answer weird questions and my parenting is questioned because of no maid (and no family) but may be thats how life is.

     
  8. I loved the last line – Questions have not stopped but the answerability has definitely stopped with time. I agree comlpetely that we are judged and we will be judged for whatever decision we take for our family or kids. Its up to us to take it to heart or just ignore it. Thanks for linking up with #MondayMommyMoments

     
  9. Live and let live, is my mantra. Why be fazed with judgement of those who don’t matter to us. I too don’t do many of the things mentioned here.

     
  10. Hey Geethica I did all the things you mentioned except letting my kids sleep when they wanted. I was quite anal about their sleep and eating times. In fact I was a strict mom simply because I didn’t want to keep any help for them….and living in a joint family meant more stress about being able to keep the children on a strict regimen because you know how the grannies always say ‘ poor kid let him be!’

     
    1. Yes truly agree with you. In joint setup there’s a lot of pampering. But a lot help too. Out course adjustments are the base to all issues

       
  11. Even I don’t do half these things – say we sailing in the same boat then 😉
    Lovely post Geethica, I have learned this lesson of life after toiling for 5 good married years that nothing in life is going to satisfy everyone. Hence rather than spending energy making everyone happy, keep core together and do what you truly believe in.
    We at times have to put our feet down and take strong decisions.

     

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